Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher. His book I Don't Want To Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the first book ever written on the topic of male depression, is a national bestseller. His new book, Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship is a New York Times bestseller.
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Timestamps:
[] Start.
[] The pumpernickel story.
[] Wise adult, wounded child, and adaptive child.
[] Relational mindfulness.
[] Remembering love.
[] Why do we remain loyal to bad relationships?
[] The RLT stance on taking a position as a therapist.
[] Objectivity battles.
[] Entering into compassionate curiosity about your partner’s subjective experience.
[] Normal marital hatred.
[] Taking the first steps toward repair.
[] Empathizing with someone whose reality doesn’t match yours.
[] Should you stay or should you go? Understanding relational reckoning.
[] Leveraging a resistant partner toward therapy.
[] The preconditions that must be addressed before RLT can be effective.
[] Understanding covert depression in men.
[] Determining underlying depression.
[] Favored modalities for working with trauma.
[] Parsing the patriarchy.
[] Taking care of your relationship’s biosphere without being codependent.
[] Terry’s prescription for overcoming my own faulty childhood templates.
[] Pondering gender expectations and expressions.
[] Were Terry’s distinctly different boys raised similarly?
[] A good Morani vs. a great Morani.
[] The greatest achievement of Terry’s life.
[] Advice for people who want to be better parents than the ones they had.
[] The typical format of Terry’s men’s group therapy.
[] Full-respect living, group guidelines, and boundaries.
[] Comparing and contrasting Relational Life Therapy (RLT) with Internal Family Systems (IFS).
[] Modern relationship challenges — from polyamory to monogamy.
[] The research is clear: Humans are born to be intimate.
[] Toxic femininity and the new world order.
[] Relational empowerment vs. individual empowerment.
[] One up, one down.
[] From grandiosity to baseline: Relational joy vs. gratification.
[] How to learn more about Terry’s work.
[] Recommended reading.
[] Terry’s billboard.
[] Parting thoughts.
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