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In this data-packed episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily sits down with social psychologist and Kinsey Institute researcher Dr. Justin Lehmiller to break down what science actually tells us about our sexual fantasies, kinks, and casual hookups. This conversation is full of insights that will make you rethink what's "normal" in bed, and help you embrace your desires with more compassion and clarity.
Dr. Lehmiller reveals the most common sexual fantasies (hint: kink is more mainstream than you think) and explains what our fantasies say about our emotional needs and life history. We explore the truth about gender differences in fantasies, how to safely explore kink and consensual non-monogamy, and research on why some people thrive with casual sex while others don't.
This episode covers practical tips for talking about fantasies with your partner without shame or pressure, plus why self-awareness (not fantasy content) is the key to sexual fulfillment. Whether you're curious about exploring fantasies, navigating open relationships, or just want to understand the psychology of desire, this conversation brings research and real talk together in a way that's both validating and thought-provoking.
Timestamps:
- Introduction & The Kink Revolution
- Fantasy vs Reality: The Threesome Gap
- Why Gay Men Have Better Threesomes
- What Gay vs Straight Men Really Have in Common
- The Kinsey Scale & Sexual Fluidity Explained
- Friends with Benefits: What Actually Works
- The Couples Vibrator Study Results
- Dutch Sex Education: What America Gets Wrong
- How to Talk to Kids About Masturbation
- Quickfire Questions: Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs & Sex Advice
